Prison industry Pt.1

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On September 6, 2013 I was arrested by the Boston police department for assault by means of intimidation. The allegation was that I had intimidated someone with a large kitchen knife. On October 21, 2014 the charges where dropped because I like the rest of us have the right to a speedy trial. The original complainant never showed up to court for the 5 or so court dates we were given in the year between the two dates.

I was fresh from what I will always remember like a divorce. I found a room in Mission hill and moved in to what I felt would be a good place to start fresh. My goal was to stabilize and get my shit together to blast into the next phase of my life. A phase I filled with my own home, freedom, travel and passion. The woman who rented the space will be referred to as N. N was a short plump woman with a warm endearing smile who’s child like eyes sparkled from her aged face when she was intrigued. She had a thick spanish accent of the singey italian inspired sort that added a little humor to everything she said. Something the I learned new appreciation for in the aftermath. We became friendly quickly, sometimes she would ask me to accompany her on the porch where she liked to sit in the evenings and we would chat about everything and nothing. As the days wore on I saw flashes of emotional instability in N’s behavior and speech pattern but I felt it harmless, nothing more than a bit quirky.

Thirty days after I moved in N disappeared for about a week and returned with the news that she had cancer. She said that she had been given a grave prognosis based on the type and it’s stage of development. The sparkle had gone from her eyes. This effected me deeply because I know how preventable cancer is and I cared for her. It hurt personally to watch as the words of a trained prescription writer drove her further and further into despair. I stayed close to N and offered assistance in any way possible including complementary bodywork and playing driver for appointments. During one early trip to the hospital I made the mistake of being 15 minutes late to retrieve N, at this moment everything changed. Things deteriorated so quickly that it is hard to explain without it seeming as if this happened over a longer time. Within a week the living situation felt almost unbearable, antagonistic comments were made at every meeting.  By two weeks out I had the police called on me the first time of two and I wasn’t even there. This made it very clear my presence was not wanted so I turned my efforts toward seeking other quarters.

Looking back its clear that every move I made toward emotional detachment only escalated things. I had gone about it all wrong. I had been cold and aloof in response to her displays of emotion which were cries for caring. They were vitriolic and caustic on the surface but tender and longing deep down. Hindsight has a way of clearing all the cloudiness and I see the facts now. I was playing the role I was because I was there because I was available and cared. It seems natural to attack those closest to us. Although in my mind I was just a roommate with a distain for the medical establishment and talent for empathy I was a brave youthful pillar for her. She asked me because she felt close to me and needed some help. She had family close but I was there. I had been a warm soul to rest on when things were really going to shit, yet in her mind I had let her down. From her point of view now that she had shown her teeth I had no care for her in her state of poor health. I was a deserter like the boyfriend of 11 years who had been dishonest over and over then disappeared when she shared the diagnosis. I had no tools for dealing with such an emotionally intense situation so I completely shut down. I was still reeling from a personal emotionally intense situation, I wasn’t able to deal with another.

By September 5, two months after I moved in I had been looking for a new place to live for a few weeks. I had been staying away as much as possible hiking in the city and its parks when I wasn’t working. I arrived back at the residence around 5:00 to have dinner. I was making soup with white beans and I was chopping kale when N approached me from behind. The vitriol this time covered several subjects including me cooking too much. I very calmly and cooly informed N that I was done responding to her goading behavior and continued what I was doing. This only stoked her into an explosion of attacks to my character. It got more and more vicious but because one who has known another only two months hasn’t much material it also became ridiculous and improvisational. I laughed hard, I shook, shed tears and ached with humor. My brain was tickled by the absurdity of everything and I exploded jollily. I called my mom to both break me away from the situation and share it. N disappeared upstairs and the next significant even was the police walking in the door.

Her story was that I had come at her with the knife I was chopping kale with when the police walked in. The tale changed often, sometimes I lunged with the knife sometimes I swung it sometimes I pointed it but the basic allegation was clear. We were separated and asked some questions then I was arrested. I sat in jail for about 5 hours and when I got out I was not allowed to return to the residence. I slept on a friend’s floor, I was angry I was hurt I got burned out I freaked out I moved home and moved back in a span of 8 months. N never showed up for a single court date and It all got dropped after over a year of being given new dates. Oh but the things I saw the things learned in such a short space are integral to my survival, you may find them the same. Stay tuned. ♥

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Flavorless (Expansive)

5391462196_3d2bea558a_zI am a spirit. I am sexual. I am creative and whimsical. I am many things and I don’t even count many of the things that others do when we meet. I will never accept boxes. I understand that we are all at different levels of understanding of self and therefore everything else but some things are just in poor taste. Don’t ask me how I have sex. This is what one is asking when they ask any question with the purpose of labeling my sexual expression. I am a sexual being that is all. Unless you are hatching a plan to have sex with me this information is not useful to you. In the case that you are, you are over thinking it. This feeling either happens or it doesn’t. I find it ridiculous that humans have found a way to divide into boxes over something as neutral as the sexual impulse. furthermore the presenters of such distasteful questioning are way ahead of themselves. We cannot certainly know a person’s gender reality when we watch them for a few moments in their whole life, to try to label their sexuality is an old dead joke. This must be checked because the mechanism behind what holds your boxes in tact are the boxes you put others in. What one labels me speaks to their state of mind not my state of being. I will continue to be what I will be. It is all very psychological and those who are not strong enough become what their box dictates. This creates immense frustration. We are sentient beings, we do not come in flavors. We come in different shades, speak different languages, and immigrated to different parts of the globe to just integrate again. We are all entitled to our choices so if you choose to rock your tag I respect that but don’t expect me to do the same for anyone’s comfort. ♥

Stop.

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This great country’s government=gentry=corporation has been trying to recover slave labor since abolition. The truth is the construct of capitalism is so that it is designed around slave labor. The machine that this nation is now was built up on the backs of slaves remember? Oh but all skin tones are included now that there are no whips and chains. Yes white privilege is very real but also very psychological. Privilege to do what exactly? Slave a little easier or more comfortably? In this system free people are those who know they are period. This is all an experience and each controls her own. There are no boxes other than those we accept. Differences are intentionally played up and subconsciously reinforced as this is highly divisive.  “Privilege” with other devices such as nationalism patriotism classism sexism other forms of racism and probably other isms keep us distracted with kicking each other’s asses and not opting out of the game. By the way war is extremely profitable so are prison higher education and more and more grade school. Things are set up so that your existence earns someone else money=power one way or another from beginning to end.

The construct is designed to maximize profit while minimizing expenditure. Think of what these expendatures are… they are things like wages, benefits, safety upgrades, proper waste disposal and conservation efforts. The key is getting us to work for as free as possible so that the money goes straight to the top. To the owners CEOs and whatever other letter combinations. I’m sure most would agree that it makes since that the closer one is to ownership of any business the more said individual should earn of the profits. This makes sense but what doesn’t is the idea that these people should continue to make more and more into perpetuity at all costs to everyone else. This though is built into the corporate law (corporate=law) structure. Stop sit for a minute and really process this idea, you will feel it is ridiculous. everything is cyclical. These numbers that are thrown into the news with 10 20 30 zeros are nonsense. Where do you know of numbers this high existing? In the media and therefore in your mind. No one has seen that many anything in existence. The reality is the paper money is for paper flemsy products after the essentials which we realize are quite few basic and still affordable or free!

There is an abundance of completely lab created food with no nutritional value and medicine full of chemicals with the effects of who knows what for an array of shit diseases caused by said processed mystery matter. A system of distraction based on mental conditioning honed to make us believe we need more than the essentials. Conditioning that makes a name worth anything more than the cost of the materials and some for everyone who had a hand in making the named product. The bottom line is logically no shirt costs $5000 dollars and those made of materials that require the price are pieces of art that maybe shouldn’t be crapped around in at the club. People began creating products just to have something to sell and it followed that a market had to be created for these products. How does one create a market for something unneeded? Make people think they need it… marketing.

The plan works like a charm, it’s ingenious really. Distractions and distortions are set up everywhere and we live under an incessant latent fear. A nagging that our lives are somehow threatened by not having enough snacks, a relaxer, being able to get fast food, being able to watch tv, or eat meat everyday and many at every meal. This is not natural. But this is what more products than people looks like… bigger and bigger people who barely live on more chemical products created to earn pharmaceutical companies hefty profits. Then they die and earn a pretty penny for the people who stuff them and put them in those obnoxious overpriced boxes. Everything is cyclical. Money money money. The thing is the power players of old are the same ones as here because that kind of grip maintains its self through generations. These are dynasties. Being comfortable is great it is something that we all deserve. It does not take great wealth to accomplish this in any system. There is no motivation to have a trillion dollars but power and control. Stop. Focus on your motivations. Connect with your deepest agenda here and push forward. There will always be distractions until we collectively ignore them.

♥♥♥♥★

No trauma for me thanks

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I was having dinner with some friends a while back and I was asked if I had watched twelve years a slave. My friend who asked me about this had actually given me the movie on portable storage to watch. I did put the movie on and give it a go but turned it off when it took the turn I knew it would inevitably take. Very early in the movie we come to the scene where the protagonist starts getting berated and this was a doozy because this was an image of a man’s freedom being taken. Not the normal brutality toward people who only know life as property. In this scene they have the gentleman shackled and he is telling them that he is legally free. The captor looks at him in the eyes and says with a sneer something like “you ain’t nothing but a nigger” and thats when I turned that shit off. This truth is exactly what I recounted to the questioners and I was greeted with mild resistance. The gut reaction was in response to me waving off this movie about “our history” as unacceptable or something.

The truth is I did find it unacceptable. I find them all unacceptable because they keep telling the same stories. I have no desire to keep subjecting myself to these history lessons that the machine insured I was taught in school anyway. There are thousands of years worth of human history outside of the african slavery period and Africa seems to be the cradle of humanity. I know how rich human history is outside of the scope of American perception management. I have sought out information about the reality of world history as opposed to rolling in the scraps they offered me in secondary school. While some cling to shallow sibilances of culture others still resign to american identity and being otherwise culture-less they therefor live in a state of uneasy assimilation. Constantly regurgitating such a small slice of human history for a group of people who have been starved for connections to ancient lineage and customs is obviously detrimental. With that said I don’t believe this repetition an accident, there is a spirit of slave mastery behind it.

I will not entertain another slave narrative because at this point I have no doubt that it serves to reinforce the idea that Africa and therefore americans of african descent had no history before our ancestors were kidnapped to be raped repeatedly and used as free labor. I won’t have trauma transmitted at my cells containing genetic information from people who experienced these things first hand. I reject these films because they are reinforcing fear conditioning from the cellular level even unlocking and strengthening traumatic memories in the subconscious mind. I don’t believe anyone knows the complete inner workings of the human mind and body. Authorities on the subjects know less than most think and DNA is hugely mysterious. I’m just thinking about my double helix.

Once I fully explained my observations mild resistance turned into complete support because like most of the mechanisms of the empire this one is carefully disguised but once exposed its plain to see. All I needed was a nudge in the right direction myself so I knew all I had to do was articulate and it would all open up. My friends and anyone who hears my thoughts on this may agree or not and that is of no concern to me. Fully sharing my reasons with them and here is intended to inspire critical thinking about what is constantly on the information menu and what never is. To serve as a reminder of two points. The empire has made no one better off and the only history the indigenous peoples of America and Africa will be offered by hollywood elites is the tiny piece altered for them by brutes because they are of the same spirit.

The slave knowing her history may choose the way of her ancestors making continued enslavement possible only through physical force.

♥♥♥

Disney disfunction

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I was just thinking about how when I was a little kid I loved the evil characters in a lot of cartoons and especially disney movies. It makes me laugh to think about because my younger brother always seemed at least a little confused or concerned about my cheering on of Cruella De vil or Jafar. I look back now and I realize that it’s not the evil I was appreciating. It was the nuanced behaviors they were framing and associating as evil. It’s femininity, pay attention the next time you watch a disney movie and you will notice that the male villains are always more effeminate than the hero in some way. Scar with his refined sounding british sing song voice or Gaston and his ponytail, the captain in the movie Pocahontas wore heels! What is disney saying here? They are implaning the subtle idea of the evil homosexual with an agenda to distroy families or the prospect for them by distroying heterosexual relationships. Deeper than that there is the chauvinistic idea of the serpentine feminine, portraying those behavioral traits in a conniving underhanded sort of light. Generalizations such as “girls are sneaky” or “women are two faced” have been perpetuated forever and these images and associations serve to reinforce this kind of garbage.

These films are showcases for american imperialist propaganda. They implant ideas into the youth that “good” men should be a certain way. The marlboro man image comes to mind, the burly, rugged, unrefined cowboy type image that has been used as a symbol of american culture. This is not a mistake, and everything has a purpose, this image association conveys to non americans the idea that the country as a whole is much like the marlboro man. Fearless and fearsome, strong powerful and hard to beat, the image is backed up by a disgustingly over funded military compared to ALL other countries on earth. It suggest to americans that this is the way we and our men should be the exclusion of variety suggests it is abnormal. This definitely applies to the gross lack of ethnic variety, because no Alladin and Tiana are not sufficient to counter balance all the images of good ol “normal” whiteness. In a more subtle way these films also suggest what a good woman should be. No matter what feats she has pulled off on her own (Mulan) or how tough and resilient she is (Cinderella) she should always be searching for her prince because only he can truly save her.

This kind of generalizations and ideological propaganda, bolster rape culture. Rape culture spread by the patriarchal nature of imperialism in the first place. I have no doubt rapes have happened since the beginning of humanity just as murders have. It seems to be nature’s way for the stronger to take advantage of the weaker. But there is a difference between some specific happenings and a sublte cultural reassurance that femininity equals inferiority. This mentally associates those who exhibit qualities already associated with that energy with weakness of character or physicality essentially putting a target on our backs. I can’t count all the times I have shocked people to the core because they approached me expecting weakness in light of their observation of my behavior. The associations do permeate every aspect of human culture at this point. Objectively observe the way creative/artistic behavior is framed unless you have already been accepted as one of their greats, a requirement for which might be death.  Until then one’s passion is minimized as hobby or even laughed off in some circles. This sentiment is based on the energy and therefore the channeler not the creations themselves. Everyone loves beauty but it’s not to be owned channeled and used in power, it’s to be controlled and stamped for approval by the imperial patriarch. Sorry disney fans but these films are a weapon in the arsenal of those who want to manage our beliefs and therefor our perceptions.

I look forward to my brother reading this, i’m sure this little piece of our childhood will make a lot more since to him. After he’s done laughing at how deeply I have analyzed this idea of course.

Clorox a symbol of fear

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I was talking to a friend about nothing in particular when he shifted the conversation to his mom’s preoccupation with bleach when it comes to cleaning. I was Thrilled that he brought it up once he got it out as I have been trying to convince my own mother to stop using it, to no avail. I got thinking of both our experiences and all I have observed in my life regarding bleach. What I realized was that Clorox specifically was the brand that his mom my mom and everyone I know uses. Bleach is bleach and its toxic so brand is irrelevant to the aspect of physical danger but I couldn’t ignore that for many I know clorox is not a brand but a synonym for bleach. In the moment I thought clorox bleach is one symbol of the mental oppression we are subjected to every day on this planet.

Here we have a product in which the active ingredient is highly corrosive and dangerous. Chlorine gas has a corrosive effect on moist tissues, like the eyes and throat, producing an acid at these sites. Although the chlorine in a bottle of bleach is liquid and is not supposed to release gas, this super corrosive ultra dangerous gas can be released when bleach is mixed with other chemicals. I’m sure it goes without saying that something like this is equally dangerous if ingested. Really I see no reason that anyone would ingest bleach but I can’t understand why this kind of chemical needs to be marketed as a product people should have in there home when there are safer chemical free alternatives. The answer lies in the fact that chlorine is one of the most commonly produced chemicals in the united states. What we now know as the Clorox chemical company opened the first facility to produce bleach on a commercial scale.

The brand was acquired by none other than proctor and gamble a mega corporation that owns a shocking number of the brands you buy at the grocery store and even produces television programming. Television being a showcase for advertisements and some mind numbing “reality” shows this should be a red flag. It’s a very dangerous thing for a company that sells a products to have control over the medium for its own advertisement on such a massive scale. Besides the obvious thought that they could just run their own ads an obscene number of times. The programming itself is a perfect place to put subtle psychological forms of advertising or perception control mechanisms. So we have subconscious cues implanted by the subtle propaganda and solid sensual reinforcement through commercials. The whole hour of tv is designed to coax you into buying clorox, potato chips or whatever. The worst part is all the products advertised to you and the show your watching when they are, are all brought to you by one corporate entity with many heads. The thing is a company like this has unlimited resources and there are other people like me out there who love to break apart what makes people tick psychologically. People who have vast knowledge on human mental conditioning and its a known fact that advertisers often hire psychologists to ensure maximum impact. I choose to use my talent for psychological analysis to help people but money is a strong motivator in a society that has connected it to survival.

We have been conditioned to be afraid of the world we live in, the one our ancestors lived in. There is bacteria everywhere but there always has been! bacteria perform many useful functions like assisting in energy metabolism in the gut, decomposition and even making bread rise (yeast). Yes some are harmful to humans but our bodies have solid defenses called an immune system that is amazing at what it does when we give it what it needs. Viruses only replicate inside of a living host, given that their life’s purpose cannot be carried out outside of a body they tend to not do well in this circumstance. If your just itching to kill some microscopic organisms there are natural antiseptics and even cloths designed to kill bacteria chemical free. At some point bacteria got turned into these evil microscopic monsters called “germs” hell bent on the destruction of humanity and everyone got directed to harsh chemicals as the solution.

The reality is these “germs” are representative of so many different implanted fears. The fear of death is the overarching one, people are taught by the machine that we get this one life so you better keep it at all cost $$ and then reminded that there are dangerous “germs” everywhere. The fear of each other is implanted through prejudices, consistent reports of murder and violence then played on with the occasional threat of a pandemic or attack from “outsiders”. When the situation is seen for what it is its no wonder the resistance is so strong in both mine and my friend’s situations. The people we are trying to reach are constantly bombarded with reinforcements of implanted beliefs to the contrary and subtle cues for the conditioned response of using the bleach. The thing is clorox/proctor and gamble are thrilled to have put dangerous chemicals in so many homes. Not because they are bent on killing us all but because their objective is money making and money making only. Our health and safety is our own concern, remembering this is the key to survival in a society run by money hungry sociopathic state designated people called corporations with endless resources. I’ve heard it said several times recently the the way out is within and I seems fitting in this moment.

 

WTF

I was hanging out at my granny’s growing more bored by the minute. She was napping as she tends to do with her downtime after a night of work at the local rest home. So I was left to my own devices, no granny chat, a shoddy internet connection and having finished my book. The truth is there isn’t much excitement happening in Bennettsville as one would surely expect from a small town in South Carolina. I had noticed long ago that the population of the state seems to be made up of lots of elderly, but I have learned recently that this is actually “a thing” this surely only negatively impacts the number of thrills to be had. At any rate, I picked up the local newspaper which my grandmother always keeps lying around figuring I would give it a whirl. Aptly named the Marlboro Herald the little rag has been around my entire existence at least and I imagine long before I was a twinkle in an eye. Although everyone has been crying about how print media is dead this little paper seems to be hanging in there unfazed. I believe this is due to two things… the comfort of tradition and the tendency of the older population to need just that. Anyway I opened the herald expecting and getting the normal 2 pages worth of obituaries and some riveting stories about the shenanigans of people in my age group. But I also found a few things that had me shrieking what the fuck?

I had no idea that I would come across so much imperialist, perception management propaganda. I guess on some level I was holding out hope that such a small publication would have escaped the clutches of the mighty machine. But alas I now remember that the little cogs do in fact coalesce into the whole contraption. How can this one publication escape being turned into a brain cleaning pamphlet when the people who write for it edit it and publish it are products of the same system it is. I perceived the disparaging overtone of the paper on a conscious level but what are the implications for someone less awake taking in the subliminal ideas presented by this garbage? I think personal disaster, this is the kind of trash that has kept africans as slaves, and its still being used today to reinforce the same mentality. Moving the plantation to the mind and disguising the forced labor as gainful employment. This is a community of hardworking people like my granny who have struggled there whole lives to keep food on there tables and roofs over there heads. Yet here you have a local newspaper disparaging the people into states of complacency and disempowerment. An exact scaling down of the mass media’s biased and narrow journalism practices. A microcosm of our larger world, life under the perception presented to us by the slave masters. Yes they are still around because they are timeless we refer to them as the elite or the top %10 these days.

IMG_1334First up “From the pastor’s pew” I actually didn’t read this one when I snapped the photo. I saw the title and knew there would be some issues, but read the photo later and my jaw dropped. It speaks volumes and I find it strange that there were any articles about religion in a newspaper. The article is seriously about how people should be more content being in positions of servitude. The author proceeds to point to too much aspiration for the sore state of people’s happiness and well being. The article mention’s Sam Walton the founder of Walmart the worlds second largest corporation as a shining example of hard work and perseverance “in a world contaminated with the philosophy of getting ahead at all cost”. So somehow this tycoon is servant enough for the oh so mythical Jesus but the people who run his stores and make his products for slave wages are overly ambitious and power grubbing. It’s unbelievable! The article dances around Walton admitting that his biggest worry is keeping his low level employees in line “If we can instill in them that they are out there to serve, we will continue to prosper”. Think about this, a corporation as prosperous as Walmart could just pay employees the most competitive wages and give the best benefits to ensure loyalty but the goal is to maximize profits by paying out as little as possible. Walton is really concerned about all his slaves realizing exactly what they are. What I find really strange about the whole mention of Walton is that the town just got its first Walmart maybe a year ago. Now the creator of an entity designed to extract wealth from the masses without regard for the environment or its people is the model for morality.

IMG_1332This actually made me nauseous. Here we have a black man being played for the fact that he looks like most of the residents. On the one hand the poor schmuck may not realize what is being done to him and that would be incredibly sad. But Williams definitely has douche bag ideas about the way things are going down. So the article mostly bashed communism as the ultimate in creating a lazy frivolous population while holding up capitalism as the model economic system. The basic crap we have been being beat over the head with since the dawn of this empire. Novice style regurgitation of the same tired ideas and examples really. The guy has the second article in the paper that blames working people for their condition and that’s pathetic. He gives capitalism credit for giving people ambition with its incentive of unfettered growth. He attacked the work ethic of those under communist rule and says human nature is to be lazy without incentive and points to this as why communism is doomed to failure. His opinion was irrelevant to me. I don’t know what communism is like because I have not live under it. I know capitalism has failed and has become or maybe is inherently an evil system that has created an empire for a few people at the top of a global society of billions. Even so this guy is entitled to his opinion. I’m more concerned about the self loathing he is bleeding all over the pages, implanting those same deadly ideas into the consciousness of the community. Implying to the people that things are the way they are because without master’s system of doing things were naturally lazy and unambitious. The icing on the cake is that the whole message is delivered in a recurring segment called “The right side” in high contrast white on black lettering for a subliminal boost. Right next to a photo of Armstrong William’s solid trustworthy looking african american face to seal the deal.

WTF“The hillbilly ten commandments” are a little bit less disparaging I guess. More on the side of comically inappropriate, this is just embarrassingly stupid material for a newspaper. Sort of like horrible comic relief after the despicable article above, this was situated right at the bottom of the page after “The right side”

IMG_1335Lastly here is the section where they list all the arrests in the area from public intoxication to robbery. This is something that seems to be more common here in the south but I could be wrong. You see sections like this in news papers in many of the towns around here. In my opinion this is completely disparaging to those who find themselves in the clutches of the legal system. No one is perfect and shit happens, so those low moments in a person’s life when they end up in the slammer or summoned to court are personal and should stay that way. It seems evil too me to reveal this kind of information to ones friends and neighbors in such a small community where everyone knows each other. In reality few people are engaging in rape, murder or any other seriously detrimental crimes from a societal stand point so why soil a person’s reputation for committing stupid infractions with no victims. So do the crime, do the time, and deal with all your neighbors who know exactly how you slipped up in detail, thats not fair. If the owner of the local cleaners see’s a person’s name in the blotter how much less likely is he to give them work, regardless of what for. A glimpse of the prison industrial complex in action, if one can’t get work they’re naturally more likely to do something to get themselves arrested again.

When I see things like this I still find myself blown away not from surprise but because I wonder how it’s getting past people. Then I remember that I didn’t see all the indoctrination we are subjected to nonstop for so long. The thing is it takes being able to observe something to see what is happening but you can’t observe the whole of something that contains you. It sucks to sit with the reality that no one can save everyone. We can all save some though and I will never stop telling those I can reach the truth about the fear being forced into their subconscious mind. Once the mechanism is pointed out it loses its power. I think my granny thinks I never shut up, but I sense thats ok with her.