Night fell as I crossed into pennsylvania and it all became colorful sparkles on an endless black sky. I stopped in philadelphia for some late dinner around 11. As I sat in cantina Los Caballeros scarfing down the vibrant mixture of lettuce avocado oranges carrots and several other colorful clippings I half listened to to the barmaid talk with regulars. Although they had deepened the colors of the day had not faded and I was eager to make ground so my mind was on the road. Midnight saw me thanking the very proper young lady for the satisfying vittles and tolerating my very spaced out less conversational state of being. I took to the night air stretched, breathed and turned again to my journey.
The world was silent. In the depths of night I entered a toll plaza somewhere in New Jersey. I slowed and noted there seemed to be only one booth in operation, everything was dimly lit. I retrieved my wallet and adjusted the volume on the stereo. A cool chill and a nagging confusion brought everything into focus as I turned to ask the cost of the toll, it wasn’t listed on the outside like I’m used to. The extremely thin woman raised her willowy finger and with an inaudible whisper indicated the toll to be one dollar. Her dull black hair lightly fluttering on her shoulders with the wind. She reminded me of witch lore. Silence and this.
I left providence in the early afternoon on 9/18. The ride was a cruise to Connecticut where I decided to take a route around New York city. Everyone crosses the Hudson river over the George Washington bridge. I went over the Tappan Zee instead i’m now sure this maneuver added around 2 hours to my trip time. In hindsight I say yikes, but it was nothing. I felt such a sense of weightless elation at the sight of the river.
NY opened to me and this song was the backdrop for this leg of the adventure.
I’m home from the super fun adventure that was traveling by car from the great north to the South Carolina low country and back. As I sat readjusting to being home, away from my family and back in the swing, I slipped into doing what I often do in moments like this. I began to communicate with Maxine, the resident dog and a friend of mine. I know that she doesn’t speak english and probably doesn’t understand it but I’m also sure she understands most of my communications. Anyway this message was directed at her but applies to most of us so here goes… Be beauty, do love, and live the fuck out of your life bitch. ♥
I posted about my obsession with this piece a little while back. This is my main piece right now. Here is another progression in the process, a snapshot of part of it’s journey. I’m super excited about the end of summer road trip I have planned for myself. This I’m sure is reflected in this latest phase of the work. I’m working on the playlists at this very moment… very Tom Petty. I know this will be an adventure chock full of inspiration and love so I look forward to what it will produce. Keep you posted! ♥
There is a part of us that always is. The spiritual element to everything. Once this is realized things become much easier. It is easy to then see the truth that you were designed for a purpose that when fulfilled will produce all the happiness you desire. Whatever it is feels good and right, natural. logic is a fabulous tool for navigating through the cubical that is wider reality. It is a hurdle to spiritual realization. It takes on a diabolical character when fitted with all the land mines that are personal experiences of insufficiency and inefficiency. Those alternate versions of yourself that it creates are not real. You are real. What you do is real. You are not that kid because you are only what you want to be. If you were a kid who kept playtime tidy it is because you wanted to on some level, regardless of what was taught to you. If you made mayhem then you wanted mayhem. If you carefully orchestrated something between mayhem and perfect prim then this is who you are. The fact that you fear the version of yourself that is other is what gives it power to peak its head into reality. ♥♥♥
We are all in this together. no matter how much we all fight the individual fight. You truly see this on the tracks of life. the ones we all run bike or walk on. We are all on our own paths yet on the same one. when your eyes meet those of the being approaching you will see so much of who they are if you would only open up to actually looking. You will notice their pride and their insecurities. You will see how they are comparing themselves to you as you are to them. They are lusting after you as you are for them.
I just want you to know that I understand this. I am not afraid. I am here for you. To make your life a little easier and your load a little lighter. Speak to me. I will not shun you. EVER. I like you was afraid, I know what it is like. I have been completely deactivated by horror. The horror that we all produce from our core. Over who loves us who hates us and where we fit in. I want so badly to tell you and have you understand that it doesn’t matter. We fit. There is NOTHING wrong with you! You have a purpose, I am it and you are mine. We are all we have.