I had an experience yesterday that really just showed me the truth of the old adage high school never ends. Really people are always who they are at the heart of it or in there hearts I guess. Don’t get me wrong, we are more than capable of personal growth but I believe our motives for living never change. This is why some people behave in a certain way their whole life. I met with an entity that I have come up against many times in these 27 years. Sometimes I encounter it as a child, sometimes as an adult. The one who can’t stomach individuality and feels even more offended by confidence. You know this entity as well, the one who’s mission it is to “put you in your place” and keep you there.
Although I have encountered this energy many times I have to say I was dumbfounded. I was actually shocked almost to laughter this time because of the setting and the lack of control this poor soul had over her hijacked mind. This monkey on her back turned her into a fool. I could not believe how vehemently this woman attempted to antagonize me! When I maneuvered out of one attack to my personhood another was swiftly launched. She even attemped mocking my words with another woman in the room who didn’t dare become involved. I can only imagine that even she was surprised to see her colleague this agitated as this is surely not her default behavior. I had assaulted this entity that lives in her by being confident and secure in my identity. For being freethinking enough to have goals that are in line with my passions and not tied to anyone else’s agenda. The audacity of me to be young, black and aware of my strengths, as if this suggests I don’t recognize my weaknesses. Even if I didn’t though I wonder why this particular entity cares so much. The thing is it’s not about being a superhero or even being more or less powerful than another. It’s about some recognizing the power they do have, because even if its minimal it makes them impossible to control or suppress. This entity is called oppression and though there are those at the very top who oppress us all it has been built into society so that we keep each other in line while the real chess masters sit back and watch. Some of us evoke this monster and some are ruled over by it everyday at work because this is the incubator. What many of us fail to see though is that we are all ruled over by it in every aspect of this life, so some believe they are in the position of oppressor and this is the moment the darkness is welcomed in. If only we could all see this construct we are contained in it would collapse, because people like this lady are the driving force.
I have to be honest in saying that although the experience was uncomfortable and the opportunity is probably null I was thrilled to have gone through it! To be honest I have not always been such a worthy adversary to this beast. I have lost my temper, lost my will, had my confidence wavered and lost some tears to it in the past. This time I was ready and unshakable. I sat calmly smiling and chatting politely while she just barely masked the hysterics happening inside because she couldn’t find chinks in my spiritual armor. Upping the ante and waiting for an emotionally indicative response she franticly tried to assert her position to someone who doesn’t recognize her brand of power playing by minimizing others. The truth is there is only one possible chink in anyones armor and that’s concern for another’s opinion. I have learned blessedly recently to silence the ego, for my spirit has no care for people’s perceptions I just am all that I am. Death of the ego spells death for the forces of opression.
For all the individuals who refuse to conform, never stop being you. Uniqueness is beauty.♥