Cyclical life

I have noticed that life, on this plane anyway seems to consist of a series of cycles. There is the notion of this forward marching of time from past to present to future but thats not the nature of things it seems. I had it said to me a long time ago and maybe even in another life as I can’t for the life of me remember who said it. That this life is sort of a series of challenges in the sense that we are presented with the same lesson again and again by the universe until we make good on it. I can say when I look back over my life I see the truth in this although I sensed it from the beginning.

I think about something like mercury retrograde for instance. This is when mercury appears to be moving backward in the cosmos because of being overtaken by earth’s rotation. Retrograde motion can mute and stifle the energy of the planet in question. Mercury rules the cogs and parts in larger peices of machinery, communications of all forms and the thinking process. Therefore during the period when mercury is retrograde these things can be a complete mess. Misinterpreted and mis-delivered messages, mental blocks and broken computers and cars are the kinds of things that can come with mercury retrograde. But there is also the tendency toward having to redo some things that are done during one retrograde period in the next. Were are actually in a retrograde period now and man have I felt it today! This got me thinking though how this is possibly an event in which to observe the idea of lessons from the universe. Maybe the mishaps that happen during a mercury retrograde period are perfectly placed in the life cycle to repeat as necessary. If you get yourself caught in some horrible contract during one of these periods and have to renegotiate it during the next it’s because you are supposed to take away lesson of being sure to read everything thoroughly. If you don’t get the lesson maybe next time your receipt will have an error and you get short changed. This continuing until you put a stop to it by learning to be vigilant. I was thinking about how in my own life i’m repeating the cycle of being “home” or living with my family. This is the 3rd time that I have returned to living under one roof with my parents that means 4 periods of living with them counting the one before leaving the first time. 3 periods going out into the world to return to them with the new experience. So I just got wondering what this all means other than the fact that I run home when shit hits the fan.

When I evaluate the events of this current cycle I see a theme. I wonder if this has been the theme of all my returns. I wasn’t always concerned with really observing my life and my spirit the way I am now so I have no way of knowing but I have repeated the event and that could be the key. I believe this cycle and the events that led up to it where designed to reveal to me the need to purge the false self, to kill the ego leaving spirit in the driver’s seat. I have been tangled in so many situations recently that have required me to make a choice between my spiritual needs and those of the ego. Those of the ego are shallow and really don’t amount to real needs, but I know that without certain recent event I would have never seen this. It required situations that pulled me outside of myself or tried to. You can’t gauge what is important with all in question sitting in your lap. It’s when it is all stripped away that one instantly knows what hold real value to their deepest self. I have been placed for the 4th time into an situation where I have no power the ego’s driving force. I am constantly in situations here where I have to recognize and respect the power of others. This is no mistake and for some reason It came so clear so suddenly. Time will tell I guess but I’m ready to except new ways in a way I have never been. I recognize lesson in my situations and I even appreciate them because I truly do want to be my best self but more specifically I to be free from this cycle for life this time.    

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